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Bonnie Barness

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Psychotherapist - Life Coach - Hypnotherapist - Author - Speaker

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Bonnie Barness

  • Shift Events
  • Contact
  • Books
    • Freedom From Addiction
    • Experiencing The Shift
    • Finding The Balance
    • Manifesting Your Dreams
    • The Soul's Lens
  • SHIFT ACTUALIZATION™
  • Private Sessions
  • About
  • Purchase
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Blog

Nowadays, so many people are suffering from anxiety. They try different techniques to feel some relief. Some help temporarily. Others do not.

If you wish to truly be free from the devastating effects, the first step is awareness.

Anxiety starts with a concern. When you begin to think about what you are concerned about, you then begin to worry. After some time, the worry turns into anxiety. As you focus on the anxiety and accompanying physical symptoms, they increase and often can lead to a panic attack. 

You can take back control. You can take back control of your mind and your body. You can take back control of your life. 

Now that you have this new awareness, you can choose your thoughts. You can choose to focus on what you are concerned about rather than begin to worry. If you don't worry about it, you won't feel anxious or have a panic attack. 

You can take back control by first asking yourself if the concern is rational or not.  If it is not, you can move to the final step outlined below. If it is than the next step to taking back control of your life is by recognizing what you are concerned about and then by taking action...doing everything possible to prevent what you are about from transpiring. 

Simply by having your thoughts focused on what you can actually do and then by taking the action identified will provid you with a greater sense of control.

By taking action, you will often address the concern and will make the likelihood that what you are afraid of will not take place.

After you have done all that you can, the final step is to let go. This is often the most difficult part for most people. Worrying and anxiety are wasted emotions. They might make you feel like you are doing something when you actually are not. They actually tap into your sense of powerlessness.

By taking all the action possible, you take back your power. You can then work on letting o knowing that you done all that you can . This is an important and final step. 

To let go , say to yourself

I have done all that I can do.

It is now out of my hands.

I am not going to waste my precious energy by worrying...when it won't do any good anyways.

I have done all that I can do(and remind yourself of what you have done).

If you have a belief in God or something force greater than yourself, you can say: I give it over to you.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You have the ability to Change Your Thoughts. Shift Your Feelings. Create Your Dreams. 

From Experiencing the Shift. BonnieBarness.com

Like Me on Facebook Bonnie Barness, M.Ed., LISAC

 

Why Do I Keep Attracting The Wrong Person?

September 2, 2016 Bonnie Barness

Have you always thought that you could have the wonderful relationship that you always longed for if only the other person didn't behave in such a challenging way? Are you at a point in your life where you are thinking, "Maybe it's me?".

Well... you are right and you are right! If the other person was the way that you wanted him or her to be, you would have more of what you wanted in the relationship. You're right! And, if most of your relationships have been filled with drama and disappointment, then the common factor is who? You. You're right, again!

Don't worry! There is good news. Though you do not have the ability to change others, you can have healthy and happy relationships both in your personal and your professional life. If that's what you truly want than there are changes that you can make within yourself that can lead to having what you long for.

The main reason that you bring in , and keep,  the wrong people in your life is because you allow it. You allow it because underneath...deep down..you do not believe that you deserve or can have what you really wish for. This belief was created sometime in your past. The great thing about beliefs is that they can be changed. You have the ability to create new beliefs...and right now!

The first step to having what you want is this awareness. When you first meet someone, instead of being concerned about what he or she thinks of you, ask yourself the following questions.

  • Do I like what I see?
  • Do I like how I am being treated?
  • What has the person accomplished? Do I respect the choices made?

So often, we are concerned with whether the other person likes us that we never even stop to ask ourselves these questions. And if we do, we don't listen to the answers that we receive. Has that happened to you?

Have you closed your eyes to the reality that was right in front of you? Have you continued to go out with people after learning enough to make you want to run the other way?

Have no fear. There is hope!

The first step, to having the healthy and happy relationship that you want, you have actually already taken. Awareness is the first step to change. It takes a lot of courage to take this step and you have just taken it! 

Now you are ready to start on a new path. A path that will lead to the fulfilling relationships that you desire.  Your authentic path. Now is the time to change the beliefs that have blocked you and limited you for so long.

  1. Allow yourself to believe that you deserve it.
  2. Allow yourself to believe that it is actually possible to have.
  3. Pay attention to the next person of interest that comes into your life and keep your eyes open. 
  4. If you don't like what you see, trust yourself...and RUN!
  5. If you like what you see, take your time. Choose wisely.  

With each new step you take,  you will continue to gain more insights into the reasons why you have been bringing in the wrong people, and may have even kept them in your life,  and will receive the gifts, the life tools, that will allow you to make different choices.

Wishing you love and success on every step you take on your authentic path,

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If you want to gain a deeper understanding  of the choices you have made in the past, of the beliefs that are interfering presently in your life,  and to experience the shift in your relationship, please join us, on Friday evenings from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. beginning September 9, 2016 for the fun and unique workshop, Creating Your Authentic Relationships. 

I look forward to taking the next steps with you on your new path! 

Copyright@2016 by Bonnie Barness. All rights reserved. 

 

 

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